Warning: Do not proceed any further if you are an asshat.

Listen up, sunshine. If you're an asshat, turn around now. Seriously. This event has been scientifically proven to increase asshat tendency levels by 300%, and none of us are willing to carry that burden for you. Your intense asshattery will, no doubt, contribute to your amazing failure in this event. Good guys wear black; asshats never win.

Here's the deal: Cannonball Wisconsin is a one-day scavenger-hunt road trip through the Badger State's weirdest, wobbliest, and most "why is that even here?" treasures. At launch (traditionally somewhere in the Green Bay orbit), you'll get your sacred packet — THE PACKET — of instructions. That's when the chaos begins.

We use GooseChase (that's a real app, not a fever dream). Grab it from the App Store or Google Play. Install it on ONE team member's phone. Not the driver's, unless you like merging into a cornfield. Scoring? All through the app. Example: "Team photo with an apple tree." You upload it. Control reviews it. Points awarded. If you try to pass off your hairy chest as "swimming in a lake," we will roast you, reject it, and probably screenshot it for posterity. Don't test us, Boo — you know who you are.

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Cannonball Wisconsin 101:

At the starting line you will receive THE PACKET. Can you get it early? No. Don't ask. Don't beg. Don't bribe me with cash, candy, or whatever creative favors you've been offering — I'm immune now. The organizers stopped telling me anything because my team was just that good. Want to know the destination? Too bad. You'll find out when we hand you THE PACKET. Until then, stop pestering Tony; he's fragile.

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Registration closes October 10. DON'T SNOOZE!

What you get: overnight lodging (double room) at the mystery destination + whatever random extras we cook up along the way. Is this all-inclusive? Nope. Bring your own foie gras, champers, and private butler if you're that fancy. The rest of us will be pounding bologna sandwiches out of Grandpa's crusty Coleman and loving it. On a tight budget? Inflation have your wallet whimpering? We got you. Grab the DAYTRIPPER option — no hotel, just pure Cannonball chaos. You'll still get the adventure; you'll just be the weirdo driving home at midnight while everyone else is bonding over questionable late-night snack runs. Your call.

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Event open to all 21 years and older*

*Should state 21 and older and not an asshat. If this applies to you, hop in the car with your buds and keep cruising to Nashville. (Special considerations can be made for dipshits with a signed permission slip; please see rules.) Seriously ... let's be adults here. This is not an event that happens once a year where you can lower your inhibitions and expectations all while having some of the most amazing times since you were a kid? (Well, maybe a little.)

Rules & Laws

Legal stuff: This is a rally, not a race. All applicable federal, state, county, and local laws must be obeyed. In addition to ticketing or jail time, flagrant violations of the law or the rules will result in mob action by all Cannonball teams. Cross the line, and you're out. See asshat rule. And rules, yes there are rules — follow the link to rules. Every damn year someone is like, "What, there's rules?" Yeah. Learn them, love them, live them.

Be on time for departure

Departure might be smoother than previous years, maybe not. There might be checkpoints, there might not. Miss the takeoff at 0900 and will we be there? Maybe or maybe not. Don't be the team holding up Cannonball.

Insert Name Here Trophy

Yep, that's really the name of the trophy. It's a traveling trophy, so you get your name on the base and you're a part of handmade Cannonball Wisconsin history. You will be able to point to it when those people at work don't believe you, and they'll take a good look at it, and they still won't believe you. For those of you who have been within a few points of holding it high, this could be your year.

Space is limited-ish

We used to limit the event to 20 teams, but following a little negotiation we can open registration to more teams. Only one registration is required per team. Reserved venues will be confirmed and booked at the end of registration. No refunds will be available after that time. This includes any additional rooms booked. The number of teams will be limited to rooms available at the selected destination. If you registered but can't make it, give your registration to someone else and let them enjoy all that is Cannonball.

Chill

Look, if you're super competitive and need to win this thing, you can make this your jam. If you're not that competitive but want to see how many things on the list you can do without becoming one of the weirdos aforementioned, you'll fit right in too. And for people who just want to take a casual cruise across this beautiful state while trying to figure out some weird-ass riddles: welcome to your element, my friend. Biggest rule: let's all be amazing and kind and love each other (but still harass the shit out of each other). Or something like that.

Countdown to Cannonball Wisconsin

Registration opens August 1 and closes October 10 every year.
Please include contact info on your registration. The sponsor (you — the person paying) will be the primary contact until the day of the event.